Archive for the 'WTF?' Category

Real women have curves.

Mar 12, 2012 in We'll post whatever we goddamned want to, Where's the outrage?!?!, Women, WTF?

Meghan McCain makes a good point about the expectation that women in the media be attractive and slim. I don’t know about you, but every time I’ve ever seen Meghan McCain, girl looks good as hell.

I saw a Fox News reporter (local) the other day, and I couldn’t believe how skinny she was. She was, in an auditorium, possibly the skinniest female in the room over the age of 18. It’s an important reminder that what passes for normal on television looks like a gaunt bag of bones in person.

Back in my single days, I dated every kind of woman on the planet. Six foot models, short chubbsters, girls with ninety-five pounds of hair and makeup and ten pounds of body, athletic-types, and so on. What I realized was that I didn’t want a prize chihuahua for a woman. I liked muscle on women, and I liked softness. To me, that kind of hard/soft has a nice yin yang quality that completes the definition of female. Feminine female. This is what Renaissance painters understood. I am fortunate to be married to a very beautiful woman in that regard.

So stick-and-bones Laura Ingraham dissing Meghan McCain was quite ironic to me. But it also resonates. Ingraham, who sounds like the meanest sorority girl on campus every minute that she speaks, doesn’t represent anywhere near the majority of women. Meghan McCain could walk into 95% of the bars of America and be one of the hottest gals in the room.

The bulk of people aren’t very attractive. It’s a wonder so many people do get married and have sex with each other, because frankly most people are pretty damn unsightly naked. Most people are happy to have a particular feature that is nice, even if they can’t point to anything other than their eyes or hair. The grassroots is fugly, folks.

And so are most men who get paid to air their thoughts in the media. Unless you think a three-way between Chris Matthews, Bill Maher, and Neil Cavuto would be teh hawtness.

Yet the secret of it all is that most of us do learn to transcend external beauty. Even the beautiful must wither before time and accept humility or be crushed (or chopped up on a plastic surgeon’s table until they look like freaks). The normal, human experience of love is between two somewhat oddly-shaped people who look at each other and see the complete person in all their glory. And they don’t ignore what feels good when it comes to appraising what looks good. People who like to tout “heartland values” ought to recognize that in the heartland, Meghan McCain is practically Marilyn Monroe.

Unfortunately, while we treat male commentators and other important figures in generous fashion, waving through all manner of disgusting lumpy bodies and hairpieces (only extremes- turtle-faces like Mitch McConnell or gigantic lard-masses like Newt Gingrich, Rush Limbaugh, or Chris Christie- really get razzed much), we apply a stringent standard to women in the public eye. It’s bad enough that it matters at all, but the window is so narrow only anorexics can get through. It’s frankly quite deranged.

So perk up, Meghan. You’ve correctly identified the transgressors, and it’s certainly not you.

p.s. All this applies to Michele Obama as well, who is the sexiest damn First Lady since Jackie Kennedy, if not all time. Holy smokes, how anybody criticizes her for having a feminine ass when she’s so crazy fit just blows my mind.

-hw

The real lesson of the shooting of Gabrielle Giffords.

Jan 17, 2011 in WTF?

Democrats can take a bullet to the head and live.

-hw

Faces/souls?

Jan 11, 2011 in We'll post whatever we goddamned want to, WTF?

There must be something to it.

-hw

Sounds like Dilbert’s tax scam got busted.

Feb 18, 2010 in Straight-up madness, Stupidity, WTF?

When I read this part of Joseph Stack’s rambling farewell letter the alarm bells went off:

Some friends introduced me to a group of people who were having ‘tax code’ readings and discussions. In particular, zeroed in on a section relating to the wonderful “exemptions” that make institutions like the vulgar, corrupt Catholic Church so incredibly wealthy. We carefully studied the law (with the help of some of the “best”, high-paid, experienced tax lawyers in the business), and then began to do exactly what the “big boys” were doing (except that we weren’t steeling from our congregation or lying to the government about our massive profits in the name of God). We took a great deal of care to make it all visible, following all of the rules, exactly the way the law said it was to be done.

I’ve had my share of dodgy friends in the past so I’ve heard dozens of stories that start out with some sort of variation of “all I was trying to do was…” in defense of something that turned out to be at best unscrupulous behavior. At worst it was a recounting of an unhappy run-in with the law. Maybe I’m cynical but the above passage has the right amount of opacity and derision to indicate that there’s more to the story than just Stack getting hosed by the IRS for having innocent ambitions.

The initial, irrational exuberance of the Palin selection.

Oct 24, 2008 in Sarah Palin, WTF?

How quickly we forget…when Sarah Palin was going to be the deathblow to the Democratic ticket.

Seems so silly now, doesn’t it? So very, very silly…

-jb

Two bits of advice.

Oct 16, 2008 in We'll post whatever we goddamned want to, WTF?

1. Never put off making love to your wife for video games. Or any other reason.

2. Never put your cell phone in a microwave. Especially don’t turn it on if you do. Or the microwave.

-jb

And the night became terror.

Aug 30, 2008 in We'll post whatever we goddamned want to, WTF?

I bring you, ladies and gentlemen, a true story:

Office star (Ricky) Gervais was recently hosting a series of press junkets for his new movie, Ghost Town, at the Roosevelt Hotel in Los Angeles, but left in a hurry when spooky happenings scared him and his co-workers.

A terrified movie executive revealed that their work was disrupted by a string of supernatural occurrences.

The exec tells British newspaper the Daily Star, “We wanted the junkets at the Roosevelt because of its ghostly reputation. But we got so much more than we bargained for. A photoshoot we prepared was wrecked and two runners say they saw the figure of a lady in the full-length mirror.

“The final straw came when a production assistant stayed in the room earmarked for Ricky and claimed to have been freezing cold on the hottest day of the year. He said he woke up with someone whistling in his ear, even though he was alone, then heard a giggle before being pushed out of bed.”

It’s always cold when they’re around, isn’t it?

-jb

If you get enough people wishing for oil independence…

Jun 20, 2008 in Clueless Conservatives, Energy, Peak Oil, Uncategorized, WTF?

Let’s take a trip into make-believe land where all of the world’s problems can be blamed on scheming liberal hippies and sinister Socialists.

Rovin, a frequent ranter on Common Sense Political Thought, has bought into the “WE CAN SOLVE GAS PRICES BY DRILLING HERE!!!!!!” myth so much that he’s gone ahead and created a blog to start a little movement. And it is classic winger hysteria; no facts but a lot of bluster with the usual list of grievances.

Here’s an EIA study showing that drilling ANWR would reduce the price of a barrel of oil by…..are you ready? 75 cents.

Here’s another EIA study
that shows what impact offshore drilling off the continental United States would have on a barrel of oil. Care to guess how much? If you guessed half the production rates of ANWR you would be correct!

-mg

PS> forgot to mention, those projected savings are by the year 2025 and don’t factor in the natural depletion of other sources of liquid hydrocarbons or natural gas.

See what happens when you accept every bit of flatulence that escapes from Limbaugh’s lips as fact?

Because you need a good laugh.

Jun 19, 2008 in Clueless Conservatives, Straight-up madness, Stupidity, We'll post whatever we goddamned want to, WTF?

John Cole yukkin’ it up…back story here (okay, maybe read that one first), and make sure you don’t miss this

-jb

UPDATE: More goodies! I love it!!! If you find more, put them in the comment threads…I LOVE IT!!!

UPDATE II: Alright, I know I fucking blow, but I had to:

Photobucket

It’s okay, Iowa has condescending bitches too.

Feb 14, 2008 in Election crap, WTF?

NYT columnist Collins, with a groaner worthy of the op-ed page of the Des Moines Register:

There is an impression abroad that these caucuses are grass-roots democracy, like those cute town meetings in “The Gilmore Girls.” Even if that were true, which it’s not, consider whether you would really want a presidential nominee selected by about 20 colorful characters in a barn.

Well, I sat in on an Iowa caucus and it was 36 ordinary working people in a middle school classroom, but I definitely see the trade-off Ms. Collins made: authenticity for a KILLER joke. If she’s saving that column for a book, she might want to rewrite the joke to suggest people here let cows vote too. That would rock.

-jb

p.s. Hillary supporters who whine about caucuses only after she loses 9 out of 10…are you just trying to make it easier for her to shoot for the White House again in 2016? Did you have a point regarding this election? And if you’re also trying to argue Michigan and Florida should be counted, go look in the mirror and ask why your parents decided to inflict you upon the world. Surely they had higher hopes…

Outgamed.

Jan 31, 2008 in We'll post whatever we goddamned want to, WTF?

For the better part of a year, I have been bumping into Michael Walzer, our nation’s preeminent living political philosopher…

He is? Who is he?

Moments like this remind me why I’m not legendary. Logic, reason, all wastes of time…because I can’t remember shit and I have too many interests filling my free time. Reading political philosophy rarely finds an opening between watching Bladerunner on my brand new home theater system and…none of yer business what the hell I do with the rest of my time:)

-jb

Huckabee on Bhutto/border fence.

Dec 28, 2007 in Clueless Conservatives, WTF?

Huckabee on the assassination of Benazir Bhutto:

We ought to have an immediate, very clear monitoring of our borders and particularly to make sure if there’s any unusual activity of Pakistanis coming into the country.

Why?

When I say single them out I am making the observation that we have more Pakistani illegals coming across our border than all other nationalities except those immediately south of the border … And in light of what is happening in Pakistan it ought to give us pause as to why are so many illegals coming across these borders.

You can’t make this stuff up.

-mg

Dark Secrets

Nov 07, 2007 in Foreign Policy, Legal, National Security, Racism, Straight-up madness, War Crimes, War on Terra, Where's the outrage?!?!, WTF?

If a person gets tortured, but no one sees or hears him, did he really get tortured?

Stephen Gray, and independent British journalist has a very intriguing documentary,that will be aired on PBS.   The documentary is called “Extraordinary Rendition”.  He interviews some of the victims of rendition, all carried out by the CIA.

Up until now we have heard that our gov’t has been outsourcing torture. That it’s not really Americans who are doing it, that they hand the victims over to authorities in countries where torture is common. However:

The dark prison was run by the Americans,” a former inmate, Bisher al-Rawi, tells Grey. “It wasn’t Afghani people flying the aircraft, it wasn’t Afghani people who sort of shackled me and did whatever they did to me. It was Americans.”

Although some of the victims of Rendition are genuine suspects of terrorism, there are countless who are not.  The most famous being Maher Arar, the Syrian Canadian programmer, who was deported to Syria and tortured and then released without explanation or any charges against him.
Amy Goodman interviewed him yesterday about this documentary.

This is what he told her after he had interviewed a victim of rendition in Egypt who was also released without explanation or any charges:

And he also leaves behind dozens of people that he says are still in Egyptian jail, and they all wear a white uniform. The uniform says “interrogation” on it. And that means they haven’t been charged with anything. They are still there, held in secret, without access to any lawyers, and they’re held indefinitely. And they’re all people who have been sent there by the CIA in the rendition program.

If you live in an area where PBS does not air, or if they aren’t airing this program it will be available on their website later this week.

I am really interested in seeing how NeoCons defend this. I guess the same way they defend the Patriot Act and other erosion of our civil liberties…

If anyone saw it when it aired, please leave your comments, I’d love to hear about it.  I missed it.

-aa

Relentless!

Aug 25, 2007 in WTF?

Out of our numerous entries, spammers overwhelmingly prefer this post more than any of the others we’ve ever composed. Any ideas why?

-mg

Bizarro World.

Aug 03, 2007 in Barack Obama, WTF?

Let me get this straight.  Obama is “irresponsible” because he said that he wouldn’t nuke Pakistan?

-mg

Oh, alright, that’s cool…

Jul 25, 2007 in WTF?

From Reuters:

“Al Qaeda is now in a part of Pakistan that is largely inaccessible to Pakistani forces, the Pakistani government. Always has been. And it is a very difficult operating environment for them,” said Edward Gistaro, the top U.S. intelligence analyst on transnational threats.

“It is just a very difficult environment for outside forces to operate in,” he added.

Uh, why?

-mg

Yes, but did he have an Islamic sounding name?

May 25, 2007 in Clueless Conservatives, WTF?

Quad-Cities Online has the low-down on ass-clown David McMenemy, the Detroit man who drove his car into the Edgerton Women’s Health Clinic in Davenport on Sept. 11, 2006, sprayed the first-floor lobby with gasoline and ignited it in a failed attempt to torch the building.  Turns out he mistakenly thought the place was an abortion clinic.  Doh!

-mg

Thomas F*cking Friedman.

Apr 16, 2007 in WTF?

Since I’m on the subject of things that annoy me I might as well add every article written by Thomas Friedman to the list.

Jim Kunstler does the best take down of him I’ve read in a long time.

-mg

Bill O’Reilly vs. Geraldo Rivera

Apr 07, 2007 in Clueless Conservatives, WTF?

Holy smokes.  Somebody shoot Bill with a tranq gun.

This isn’t a guy with conviction.  It’s a man with anger management issues.

-mg

Not a bad gig.

Mar 26, 2007 in National Security, WTF?

I think it was Atrios that said that this was a collossal waste of resources and while I agree with that assessment I have to add that this sounds like a fantastic job.  Paid travel, easy-going co-workers, no heavy lifting.  Sign me up:

From Albuquerque to Montreal, San Francisco to Miami, undercover New York police officers attended meetings of political groups, posing as sympathizers or fellow activists, the records show.

They made friends, shared meals, swapped e-mail messages and then filed daily reports with the department’s Intelligence Division. Other investigators mined Internet sites and chat rooms.

From these operations, run by the department’s “R.N.C. Intelligence Squad,” the police identified a handful of groups and individuals who expressed interest in creating havoc during the convention, as well as some who used Web sites to urge or predict violence.

But potential troublemakers were hardly the only ones to end up in the files. In hundreds of reports stamped “N.Y.P.D. Secret,” the Intelligence Division chronicled the views and plans of people who had no apparent intention of breaking the law, the records show.

Cake assigment if there ever was one considering that the people you’re investigating make no efforts to conceal their activities or their opinions.

-mg 

To the fucks who broke into my car this afternoon:

Feb 28, 2007 in Uncategorized, WTF?

Get a job.

-mg

English grad-students rejoice! Iowa Liberal is going meta…

Feb 15, 2007 in Foreign Policy, Middle East, Politics, Uncategorized, WTF?

nitrate21 says:

happy valentine’s day, sugartits

Mike G says:

i tried calling you earlier

nitrate21 says:

i just got home. what’s up?

Mike G says:

i was at the video store calling to ask whether or not i should rent “the wicker man”

nitrate21 says:

holy fuck i hope you didn’t!

Mike G says:

i rented it dude…you failed me you simple bastard

nitrate21 says:

well, have fun mst3k’ing it

Mike G says:

ah, i just shut it off…complete rubbish

nitrate21 says:

should have looked for science of sleep

nitrate21 says:

or the invincible iron man!

Mike G says:

ah! right.

Mike G says:

or “robot monster”

nitrate21 says:

or “beerfest” again

nitrate21 says:

this time, get drunk first

nitrate21 says:

bree and i went pretty lavish on each other for v-day

Mike G says:

so you bought her a package of juicy fruit gum?

nitrate21 says:

man, heard some pathetic whining from republicans in the house today. the “support the troops” cry has never been louder…yet it still means “support whatever the fuck george bush feels like doing”

(more…)

‘War on Christmas’…huh?

Dec 24, 2006 in Clueless Conservatives, Uncategorized, WTF?

In addition to the linked article I’d like to note that there are several people in my workplace that have bemoaned the fact that they are forced to say “Happy Holidays” as opposed to “Merry Christmas”.  I thought this odd since I’ve never heard of this rule before so I asked our director about this supposed company wide edict.  Long story short, well, there is no requirement.  You can say whatever you want.  Nobody gives a damn.  It seems that the ‘War on Christmas’ crowd, according to the director, spreads this fable every holiday season regardless of what they are told.   Oh, how wingers love to play victim, don’t they? 

Little Green Footballs gets it wrong on Novak.

Jul 12, 2006 in Clueless Conservatives, Politics, Uncategorized, WTF?

I don’t know if you can get much more stupid than this:

Now at Drudge Report, Bob Novak says:

‘I learned Valerie Plame’s name from Joe Wilson’s entry in ‘Who’s Who in America’…

UPDATE at 7/11/06 3:34:58 pm:

Those tiny popping sounds you hear are thousands of moonbat heads exploding.

Tee hee! Those crazy moonbats!

Not so fast, Jethro! The problem with the above post is that it completely ignores the previous sentence that explains that his two informants (Karl Rove and his “Primary Source”) leaked Plame’s identity by referring to Joseph Wilson’s wife who they confirmed was working for the CIA (thus creating the “angle” for Novak’s story, get it?). Novak then made his amazing “Who’s Who” discovery. So Novak did not learn Plame’s identity because of his crack jounalistic skills rather, he got the information from his informers. I think that it’s safe to speculate at this point that the author of the above post didn’t read the full article.
The LGF squad has to be thinking that Novak had some pretty shitty lawyers if they can’t prove to a judge that he got the information from a public source. That or he’s another hapless victim of The Insidious Liberal Fifth Column. Knowing that conservatives absolutely love to play the victim I’ll go with the latter.

-mg

Tornadoes…Clinton’s fault?

Jul 07, 2006 in Uncategorized, WTF?

That horse-faced plagiarist Ann Coulter was on Fox News today explaining to Neil Cavuto how the actions of North Korea can be blamed on Bill Clinton despite the fact that George W. has been in office for six years and hasn’t done a goddamned thing to improve the situation on the peninsula. Man, you know it’s a loser when all that can be said to put the shine on Bush is the Clinton’s Fault recitation.
-mg