Archive for November, 2006

America on immigration.

Nov 24, 2006 in Clueless Conservatives

New poll results:  Americans favor roads for illegals to gain citizenship by 2/3, and they favor cracking down on employers who hire illegally by the same margin.

So who’s brilliant idea was it for the GOP to use immigration to get the base worked up?  The “base” hates Mexicans but loves their landscaping rates.  They turned off Hispanic voters with their xenophobia, and then got huffy when they found out they couldn’t load Mexicans onto rail cars and jail anybody who helped them stay here.

Not that I’m complaining.  It only further solidified the fact that Karl Rove’s base is indifferent and irrelevant to the American dream and to America’s future.

-jb

Iowa Liberal Trivia – Annoying Pop-Up Edition

Nov 16, 2006 in Uncategorized

Turns out that spyware and malware are illegal in the state of Iowa.  Go ahead and check out the statute here.

-mg

The liberal media strikes again.

Nov 16, 2006 in Clueless Conservatives, Politics, Uncategorized

All the cable news networks are heralding the end of Nancy Pelosi because of her “massive upset” in her failed nomination of Jack Murtha for Speaker of the House.  Republicans are described as being “giddy” over the apparent “self-destruction” of the Democratic Party.

The media likes a horse-race and they’re going to fluff the Pelosi versus Hoyer angle for all that it’s worth but the Republican giddiness will quickly fade when they can’t post a single bill in the House.

-mg

The American whiney-baby.

Nov 14, 2006 in Uncategorized

First thing’s first: Borat is one of the funniest movies ever made, and Sacha Baron Cohen is so effortlessly brilliant that I am consumed with jealousy. I will claw that bitch’s eyes out for reminding me of my own limitations!

Turns out that for all the racism, sexism, and homophobia in America that gets exposed in Borat, outside of the film we have been exposed to another one of our worst qualities: simpering, pathetic whining.

You might have heard about the frat boys who are really upset that…people heard what they think. You’ve heard about the lady who arranged Borat’s appearance on a local Mississippi news show who afterwards lost confidence in her own self-worth and spiraled into depression, losing her job many months later. And the Romanian (okay, they’re not American) villagers who will be forever known as a gang of whores and rapists by people they will never meet. Or maybe audiences know it’s an absurd comedy!

Now here’s another tale of sodden underpants from “Vanilla-face,” who insists he has a sense of humor. No evidence is offered as to why we should believe him. Translation: “Waaah-waaah! I’m in the number one movie at the box-office, and I’m embarrassed because people think that makes me an actor who got a break!”

Trust me, fella, life will throw you some harder fastballs in the future.

-jb

JB beat me to it.

Last night I was out to eat and I overheard a fellow Iowa City citizen comment on how they found it disturbing that people found Borat funny because it engendered negative stereotypes.  I’m sure if I asked her to she’d be more than happy to explain to me that Kazakhi people, in fact, do not shit in plastic bags.

As previously mentioned this pathetic reaction is typical of those with absolutely no sense of humor (the Carpetbagger decides today to get on his high horse) and are more interested in saying something about themselves than looking beyond the obvious.  The joke of Borat is that the people he interviews believe that a man like this could actually exist.  His Ali-G persona works much in the same way.  It demonstrates that certain adults have such a miserable opinion of youth that to validate their own opinions they’re willing to believe that a mountain of absurdity like Ali-G is a real person.

-mg

Carvilleosaurus bordering on extinction.

Nov 10, 2006 in Disappointing Dems, Politics

I know this is straight from Kos, but I had to comment:

Some big name Democrats want to oust DNC Chairman Howard Dean, arguing that his stubborn commitment to the 50-state strategy and his stinginess with funds for House races cost the Democrats several pickup opportunities.

The candidate being floated to replace Dean? Harold Ford.

Says James Carville, one of the anti-Deaniacs, “Suppose Harold Ford became chairman of the DNC? How much more money do you think we could raise? Just think of the difference it could make in one day. Now probably Harold Ford wants to stay in Tennessee. I just appointed myself his campaign manager.

Is Carville joking?  Howard Dean’s 50 state strategy just fucking paid off with dividends (Rumsfeld!), Harold Ford LOST HIS GODDAMN RACE.  Is this really Carville?  Did an alien slug infest his medulla?  Doesn’t he realize that DC slugs who tried triangulating, calculating and pandering just got thoroughly rebuked?  Everything they’ve said has been wrong.  If they’d been given the chance, they’d have blown 2006 as well.

Kos makes it clear that Carville doesn’t have this as an option, that he’ll get pulverized if he tries.  Carville and Ford need to go back home, do their homework, and do some learning from Kos, who did enormous work setting the right tone for this takeover.  Ford ran like it was 2002/2004 all over again, trying to be like a Republican in order to get along.  Nobody bought it, except Newsweek.

Carville needs to get off the bottle and get out of DC.

-jb

My choice: A six-dollar bottle of merlot.

Nov 09, 2006 in Politics

What did you drink after the election? Did you pop the cork on some champagne? I can’t share the sentiment, I think champagne tastes like camel piss. Did you throw down a six-pack of lager? Gives me heartburn anymore. Did you scramble for the Mad Dog 20/20 or Jack Daniels and pour it down your throat until you were crying in a puddle of your own vomit? Sorry, I’m not a Republican, I didn’t have the desire to drive the cruel world away. I opened a six-dollar bottle of workin’-man’s merlot and sipped it out of my sister’s first wedding commemorative mug, like the uncouth caveman monkeyboy Iowan that I am.

Naturally there is some acid spit-up. To Republicans, they were never to blame for anything after five years of having one-party rule. Can you imagine how they’ll be with a Democratic Congress to blame? We were only losing the war in Iraq because Democrats didn’t believe in fairies. Be prepared for ranting accusations that no longer require even the slightest tether to reality. Despite all evidence that Bush and the GOP already FUBAR’ed Iraq, well, beyond all recognition, any further failure will be attributable to Democrats.

Another cause of acid spit-up is the fact that Bush is still the president, and we may be in for two years of gridlock. Blissful gridlock, compared to that miserable lot of rubber-stampers that just got booted out, but Bush will work as hard to make sure Democrats get no success as they will to assure that Bush no longer mistakes himself for a king. The key, however, is in getting the bills passed in Congress and daring him to veto. Every veto from Bush will be a reason to put a Democrat in the Oval Office in 2008.

Whatever the case, I expect the Democrats, who have no shortage of priorities now that they’re in office, to offer some effort to reassure Americans who believe in the Constitution that it is still alive. Can we get our rights back? Can our powers be separated again? Can we find some way to make it clear to Bush that he is not imbued with the powers of a king, to render any American citizen’s rights null upon mere “suspicion”?

Unlike those who have suddenly discovered that things will change with Democrats in power, I know that we have a heavy laundry list ahead of us. There is so much to do simply to repair the damage that has been done to this country by idiots who didn’t know they lived in a democratic republic. I simply hope that we can repair and progress at the same time.

We still have an uphill battle ahead of us. Despite the corruption of that Republican Congress, despite the lies, despite the perversion of our founding principles, these were still close elections. Webb, Tester, and McGaskill barely won. 49% of those states still said, “Eh, Republicans are good enough for me.” No reasoning seems to exist beyond beliefs that Democrats love terrorists, abortions, confiscating guns and forcing churches to marry gays. It’s entirely untrue. We love gays, confiscating armed churches, and forcing terrorists to have abortions.

Now that that’s cleared up…have a drink, dahling!

Then get ready for more of the fight.

-jb

Republicans take Connecticut!

Nov 08, 2006 in Clueless Conservatives, Disappointing Dems, Uncategorized

Voters have re-elected Joe Lieberman (R) to the Senate.

Schlesinger got 10% of the vote. Draw your own conclusions.

-mg

Iowa Races

Nov 08, 2006 in Iowa, Iowa Gubernatorial, Local Politics, Politics

The Des Moines Register has a good rolling ticker in place with up-to-the-minute results so it might be handy to keep a tab open for them.

My polling place was at City High here in Iowa City and the sole electronic voting station that was located there was completely abandoned throughout the duration that my significant other and I were there.  Even when the paper ballot feeder/reader jammed up nobody made a move towards the touch-screen system.  When one of the poll workers called up the help desk the line quickly expanded out the door yet all present stood by patiently while the jam was cleared.  What a bunch of hippy Luddites, eh?

-mg

Democrats will owe Andrew Sullivan a beer.

Nov 07, 2006 in Politics

I usually only mention my beloved Andrew Sullivan when he says something dippy, but the truth is it happens rarely.  He’s been a shining light among the reasonable conservatives for several years now, even endorsing Kerry in 2004.  Sullivan makes it clear that if conservatives really were conservatives, this nation wouldn’t be nearly so helplessly divided and rife with rhetorical warfare.  A brief excerpt:

Do you believe America should torture its military  detainees and terror suspects? Do you believe the president – and the president alone – should  be able to arrest anyone at will, name him or her an “enemy combatant,” deny him or her habeas corpus rights, and torture him or her? If you believe he should have that right, vote Republican.

Your vote tomorrow is about more than politics. It is indeed about values, American values.  A vote for the Republicans is a vote for torture. 

Liberals and conservatives need to unite today to get this country back from who has taken over:  the Confederate Party.  They have appropriated our flag and the name of one of our major parties, and make superficial claims to the Founding Fathers, but they are alien to all of it.  Their values are the values of Dixiecrats who remain resentful 140 years later that they were crushed in the Civil War.  They never cared about the Constitution, only about their culture, even if it included slavery then or torture today. 

38% of our country remains lost to the Confederates.  Most of them, hopelessly so.  They have seen everything George W. Bush and the Rubber-stamp Congress have brought to this nation, every violation, and have decided to ask for more.  Some even, amazingly, believe that it is vitally important that one-party rule remain.  They have forsaken the USA.

But you can help make sure that such people are remembered for what they are, and relegated to minority status for years to come. 

Save our Republic and our Constitution today, and vote Democrat.  Or, like Andrew says, if you are so intrinically repulsed by passionate but generally amiable if somewhat off-kilter folks like myself that you just can’t vote for anybody with a “D” by their name, then abstain.  But do not contribute further to the destruction of the dreams of Jefferson, Madison, Lincoln, and every other person who has ever believed in America not as simply a place, but as an idea. 

Make the dream real.

-jb

p.s.  Andrew gave up advocating abstaining as an option.

The president, in other words, has just proved that he is utterly unhinged from reality, in a state of denial truly dangerous for the world. He needs an intervention. Think of this election as an intervention against a government in complete denial and capable of driving the West off a cliff. You can’t merely abstain now. Bush just raised the stakes. And he must be stopped.

It’s true.  If you’re that crazy with Democrat-hatred that you can’t act now, you need to take a Valium or some valerian root, tip a cold one back, and repeat to yourself calmly, “Divided government is good.“ 

I do not support the troops.

Nov 04, 2006 in Iraq

I discovered that everytime somebody says, “Support the
troops,” they mean Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld and the rest of PNAC. They are the “troops.” So fuck the troops.

As for the soldiers on the ground, they have my sympathy, and I wish them strength while they are mired in this clusterfuck. It’s unfortunate that many in the military over the years had become so irrationally drawn to the Republican party, who likes to use them for IED fodder then rip them off as veterans. Even though this war has woken up quite a few, that didn’t make it worth it.

I’d rather have a well-paid soldier doing training exercises at Camp Pendleton and voting Republican than coming back from Iraq with a stump and voting Democrat.

-jb

Liberal terrorists

Nov 02, 2006 in Clueless Conservatives, Disappointing Dems, Uncategorized

With Kerry’s latest boner the Republicans finally have something to act indignant over.  The message this campaign is that Dems are flat out terrorists and if you intentionally misinterpret Kerry’s remarks you can have your proof.  After the tenth time Tony Snow asked for an apology I had to turn off the television…it was Swift Boat all over again.

Here’s some advice.

Nov 01, 2006 in Clueless Conservatives, Media, Uncategorized

Dear MSM:

No matter how delicately you treat right-wing ass-clowns like Rush Limbaugh they will always squeal to the heavens about your left-wing bias. It’s his bread and butter.

-mg