Archive for November 20th, 2007

The Episode Where Peter Brady Tries On New Personalities

Nov 20, 2007 in Uncategorized

So I’m Mike Huckabee. I want to kickstart my campaign, really tell people how I stand apart from the other candidates. It’s so hard in the primaries, establishing your identity without seeming like a lone wolf! What can I do? I know: some of those jokes from that Chuck Norris email everybody was forwarding around five years ago! That thing was hilarious! Next week: Mike Huckabee visits the roller disco, tries on rainbow suspenders, says “Nanoo nanoo.”

Iowa keeps it real.

Nov 20, 2007 in Uncategorized

Why bother with the artifice and baggage of Hillary Clinton when you have Barack Obama to choose instead, I asked. Iowa rises to the challenge:

While Clinton still leads on more personal attributes than any of her competitors, just half of Iowa Democrats in the latest ABC News/Washington Post poll believe she’s willing to say what she really thinks — far fewer than say so of either Obama or John Edwards. Obama beats her by 2-1 as the most honest and trustworthy candidate. Her advantage on experience, while substantial, has softened since summer. She has notably less support in Iowa than nationally in trust to handle a variety of specific issues — on Iraq, for example, Obama now runs evenly with her. And she’s third in Iowa among men.

Among those who say they’re “absolutely certain” to attend a caucus, Obama has 28 percent support, Clinton 26 percent — again very close, and a contrast to Clinton’s nearly 2-1 lead over Obama nationally.

Yes, yes, yes. Iowa is leaning toward the shrewd, smarter, more honest choice. This benefits both Barack and Iowa, affirming Iowa’s reputation for examining the hell out of candidates before making informed choices that can upset the conventional Beltway consensus. Iowans have the chance to say, “It isn’t over before we even get to start voting,” and should do so to say they don’t like others making their minds up for them.

Now, this dynamic mortally wounded my 2004 favorite, Howard Dean, but Barack stands to benefit from from it. Hillary is ahead nationwide because she’s got the name recognition and she’s got the press salivating for all the wild news stories 8 more years of the Clintons will generate. Obama is taking the lead in Iowa because Iowans took the time to investigate and explore the candidates in ways the media won’t.

Thank you, Iowa.


How could anybody not know Scott McClellen was a paid liar?

Nov 20, 2007 in Journamalism, Politics

That’s the job description if you want to work for Team Bush. Stand up in front of the press and deliver material without any regard for its truth or falsity. With McClellan, he always acted like a terrible liar, somebody shifty and sweaty and stammering as he kept trying to paint a rosy picture of Bush II’s record like he was trying to hammer a nail with play dough. He knew he didn’t have the right tools or the right material, but he kept plodding on, a dutiful servant til the end, when he was put out of his bovine misery.

And, big surprise, now Scotty wants confess his sins.

The most powerful leader in the world had called upon me to speak on his behalf and help restore credibility he lost amid the failure to find weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. So I stood at the White house briefing room podium in front of the glare of the klieg lights for the better part of two weeks and publicly exonerated two of the senior-most aides in the White House: Karl Rove and Scooter Libby.

There was one problem. It was not true.

I had unknowingly passed along false information. And five of the highest ranking officials in the administration were involved in my doing so: Rove, Libby, the vice President, the President’s chief of staff, and the president himself.

Well, Scotty, I’d say a compliant media sure helped you out, didn’t they? Those priviliged enough to enter the White House briefing room preened and fawned in front of Bush’s four press secretaries (or cower in front of Ari Fleischer when he told them to “watch what they say.”), no matter how blatantly they fibbed and told tall tales. McClellan would lie to them every day, then step down from the podium and shake hands and pat backs.

The U.S. people deserved better from the press, and of course they deserved better from McClellan rather than keeping shut until he got a book deal. We deserved McClellan ripping off his tie and delivering this speech:

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