Archive for May 18th, 2011

Brave Sir Robin!

May 18, 2011 in Politics

Rick Tyler might snort coke:

Asked by the Huffington Post’s Michael Calderone for his take on Gingrich’s treatment in the news, spokesman Rick Tyler launched into what could only be described as an epic poem recounting his candidate’s heroic journey.

“The literati sent out their minions to do their bidding,” Tyler wrote in an e-mail. “Washington cannot tolerate threats from outsiders who might disrupt their comfortable world.”

He continued: “The firefight started when the cowardly sensed weakness.They fired timidly at first, then the sheep not wanting to be dropped from the establishment’s cocktail party invite list unloaded their entire clip, firing without taking aim their distortions and falsehoods. Now they are left exposed by their bylines and handles.”

As for Gingrich’s role in this drama, Tyler cast him as a fantasy hero straight out of Arthurian legend.

“But surely they had killed him off,” he wrote. “This is the way it always worked. A lesser person could not have survived the first few minutes of the onslaught. But out of the billowing smoke and dust of tweets and trivia emerged Gingrich, once again ready to lead those who won’t be intimated by the political elite and are ready to take on the challenges America faces.”

I think he’s been swept up by Game of Thrones. Will Rick recount Newt’s past tales of ribaldry in similar form perhaps?


Leave Newt Alone!

May 18, 2011 in Politics

Newt Gingrich, who has been on Meet the Press thirty five times, is now explaining his Sunday morning appearance in which he made disparaging remarks about the Republican plan to eliminate Medicare as the product of a “setup”. In a refrain familiar to those who have developed a similar mechanism to defend the frequent verbal pratfalls of Sarah Palin, Gingrich even went so far as to describe the questions he was asked as “gotcha” in nature. Like Bush, Palin has a fan base that will defend her much as a doting and oblivious parent would a spoiled child. She’s not rude, she’s justifiable striking back at her detractors. She’s not stupid, you’re an elitist who doesn’t value common sense. “Just let Sarah be Sarah!” Some people are lucky in that they’re born into a life where those around them feel compelled to make excuses for their failures. But Newt Gingrich doesn’t seem like he has that sort of cult of personality. He’s got a stable of ex-wives that all agree that he has weak morals and they’ve been saying so publicly for the past ten years. When news broke that he was actively engaged in an extra-marital affair during the Clinton impeachment it added another layer of ick so thick that he’s never been able to go back and once again garner the support of his old allies on the religious right. Without a wholesome and compelling back story and an “awe-shucks” demeanor nobody is going to go along with a story of victimization at the hands of Liberal Media Elites. Especially considering that you’re supposed to be a rock-ribbed, old-school Republican who had chunks of House Democrats floating in your stool.

I never would have guessed that Newt would flame out so quickly but here we are with 2012 a mere six months away. Who knew that he’d turn out to be such a palooka?