Attempting to put the brakes on the Republican Blah-Sonovabitch Meltdown

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008 @ 4:23 pm | Barack Obama

While I hesitate to call Newt Gingrich a sane conservative, he does have a sense of the practical.

When rightwingers heard “Obama” in the same story as Blah-Sonovabitch’s arrest and swift downfall (I think he’s going to break a speed record on impeachment), they just couldn’t help themselves. In their defense, neither could the media, which continues to hammer at Obama spokesman for not talking despite knowing full well Patrick Fitzgerald has asked the Obama folks to hold back. Amazingly, while absolutely everybody knows Obama’s team wasn’t playing ball with Blah-go-already-ya-dirty-bitch, Republicans keep trying to fill the bottomless void in their party with more vague, “Questions remain! Please be more transparent and upfront in your innocence than we ever expected of guilty Bush or any of his corrupt cronies!

Now Patrick Ruffini is jumping in:

“It’s fair to say that any residual connections Obama may have with Gov. Blagojevich as a result of being an Illinois Senator are not the strongest part of our argument. I can understand the desire to go at Obama. But with Obama at 76% approval for the transition, our hits against him have to be clean hits, or they will blow up in our face.”

The sentiments expressed publicly by Gingrich and Ruffini are echoed privately by a number of Republican strategists who view the attempts to link Blagojevich and Obama as nothing more than a fool’s errand given the lack of evidence that the public sees any real connection between the two men.

Indeed, this is simply further testimony to the bankruptcy of the Republican Party and why they don’t deserve to be running things any longer. Not only are they irrelevant, but they are desperate. Like a sad-sack suitor leaving messages on an indifferent girl’s message machine, hoping the next plea will sway her heart, they only harden it and make the case to her that she should change her phone number.

Trust me on that one.

And as many a man will testify, the only answer is to let go. Rebuild your self-esteem, regain your mojo, and look at the world with fresh eyes. Blagojevich is seductive. Blagojevich can be put in the same sentence as Obama. If all your rightwing friends would join forces, you could repeat “Obama” and “Blagojevich” together a lot. Hell, you made people think Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden were sharing a bunkbed in Iraq…

You must let that big-titty blonde with the killer legs go, Republicans. Tuck your tongues back in your mouths and move on. She ain’t the one.

-jb

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