Not that I can make it any more clear how insane and fraudulent the Tea Party is.

Friday, October 15th, 2010 @ 11:11 pm | Clueless Conservatives, Politics

But reading some history the other day, I got to reading a bit more about the Boston Tea Party, a great moment in the American struggle for independence that has been co-opted by the GOP base, libertarians, and assorted people who aren’t very bright. Their common traits seem to be hatred towards Obama, being utterly unable to explain our economic troubles, and having absolutely no idea how to solve them. Big surprise, then, that even the Tea Party name is a disgraceful joke.

The Boston Tea Party was an act of protest against the British for allowing the British East India Company (?) to sell cheap tea in the colonies, undercutting local farmers and ruining the American economy. So the colonists banded together and dumped a shitload of British tea into the harbor, and the rest is history.

An obvious parallel today would be tossing shipments of cheap goods from China into the ocean. It would probably take a couple shiploads to punch the Chinese in the balls, but let’s put issues of scale aside.

So who’s the parallel to that? Sarah “Sell-out” Palin bitching about “death panels”? Rand Paul complaining about Medicare’s mere existence? Glenn “I see Nazis” Beck? No, it’s the dirty fucking hippies. The long haired folks that “real Americans” instinctively hate, protesting globalization outsourcing American jobs to overseas sweatshops. The Boston Tea Party was an act of protectionism.

Of course, the Tea Party was a tax protest as well, as the British government hit the colonies with extra taxes to help British East India tea even more. The colonists were outraged because they weren’t being taxed by their own representatives, as none would have consented to such a punitive tax. Of course, the Americans who call themselves Tea Party members are being taxed by their own government. Since that was the entire point, to be represented, and everybody gets a vote, the Tea Party’s claim is about as purely up-is-down as you can get.

Don’t hold your breath for a media personality, or at least one who can get a press-fleeing Tea Partier cornered, to ask them why they should be called the Tea Party. But even Fox, in a flattering article, notes the disparity of the comparison:

The Stamp Act? Now it’s the Wall Street bailout. The Tea Act? Now it’s the $787 billion stimulus package. The Quartering Act? Now it’s the pork-filled omnibus spending bill. The Boston Massacre? That would have to be the proposed $3.55 trillion 2010 budget, seen by tea partiers as a fiscal massacre.

Oh. The party of Wall Street is mad that Wall Street was rescued via being loaned a bunch of money, much of which is paid back or due to be. The ones exploiting the unemployment rate are mad it isn’t two percentage points higher. The party that exploded pork spending in the 00’s is now pissed about the tiny drop in the bucket that it contributes to our debt. And a budget composed mostly of pre-determined spending is compared to the slaughter of innocent human lives.

The obvious immediate fraudulence of their name leaves one with few choices. I really can’t stomach to call the GOP base Tea Party anything. I really can’t believe historians haven’t lodged a united protest against such reckless abuse of our national history, but so be it. Now, one could just point out that it’s mostly the GOP base, and that will do, but I’d say they should just be called the Me Party (wish the spelling matched better, but it rhymes).

The Me Party: I get to make up my own history. I don’t consent to be taxed by my own elected government, even though I vote. I don’t like presidents who don’t look like me, talk like me, or come from weird states like Hawaii. I shouldn’t have a penny of my money go towards somebody who doesn’t work as hard as me. I don’t want to listen to their circumstances. I shouldn’t be blamed for electing the people whose philosophy ruined our economy. I’m one of the good people, so you can vote for me without making me actually provide any solutions. You’ll just know it’ll be better, because I said so.

Of course, not exactly surprising that it’s the Boomers who have brought us this tempest of self-obsession. But I don’t wish to get bogged down in Boomer blame. Those who call themselves tea partiers shouldn’t also be allowed to bring down scorn upon innocent Boomers who rightly admonish their lack of seriousness.

They can’t even get their own name right, or the history they claim to revere. This just goes to show one that giving a rightwinger even the slightest benefit of the doubt always gets you in trouble.


3 Responses to “Not that I can make it any more clear how insane and fraudulent the Tea Party is.”

  1. ladk Says:

    The Boston Tea Party was an act of protectionism.

    Not really. It was more of an act of protest over the increasing over reach of the British Government at the time.

    The East India Company had the monopoly on tea in America for near a hundred years or so and because of the high consumption tax on tea. It was being smuggled through by the British and the Dutch to America because no one wanted to pay the damn tax.

    This caused the East India Company to lose about $549,680 a year. So the East India Company had the government give them a refund on all their taxes paid on goods sent to the colonies. Parliament then levied a host of new taxes at the time as well including the one on tea on the colonies.

    So you can’t say that it was a form of protectionism by dumping tea that was mandated to be consumed by the government and unfairly and unjustly taxed. Just to bail out a failing government institution.

  2. Henry Whistler Says:

    Why not? Government involvement, especially from a foreign power, doesn’t negate the protectionist nature of the action.

  3. Fred Says:

    Yup, a real Boston Tea Party would be as if a bunch of real American patriots badly dressed up as Muslims, hijack a Chinese container ship, then spent the next month dumping containers into the ocean.

    (The Indians were the terrorists of their day, the Muslims are the terrorists of today, that’s why i said Muslims)

    This was my idea BTW.