The first rule of Mitt Romney’s campaign is you do not talk about Mitt Romney!

Tuesday, May 22nd, 2012 @ 9:09 pm | Politics

Apparently everything about Mitt Romney is off-topic. The one thing we were allowed to talk about, Bain Capital, is supposed to be off-limits as well, unless Mitt Romney wants to say he created 100,000 jobs (a purely fictional number that even his campaign is starting to back off from). Of course, that doesn’t pass the laugh test, but cue a moron “centrist” Democrat waltzing in to say attacking Romney’s imaginary Bain claims are beyond the pale. Cory Booker realized his comments were so indefensible that he quickly backtracked, but it was too late, the Beltway was happy to jump on that as permission to nod their heads and declare that Obama is wrong to rebut anything Romney says about the small portion of his record he is willing to talk about.

After all, did we forget that it’s actually Governor Mitt Romney? Yes, Romney brought his job-destroying Bain record into Massachusetts and left 47th in job creation, BUT BAIN! Until it doesn’t work for Romney, in which case it’s BUT CAPITALISM!

Because of course, after the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression, caused by Wall Street, and while JP Morgan is busy losing $2 billion $30 billion, we must not question fiscal destruction because it means the commies win. So we’re left with Bain being good for Romney BECAUSE CAPITALISM and none of the fact matter BECAUSE CAPITALISM.

Need we even point out that Republicans think we really need to talk about Jeremiah Wright some more without discussing Mormonism’s Jewish Native Americans and Spaceman Jesus, and the possibility that God was just a nice plumber named Fred from another planet who didn’t hurt anybody and went to church every week?

And since it’s an ironclad law in DC that all news is bad for Democrats and good for Republicans, it’s worth noting one of the only loopholes, that it’s good news for any Democrat to stab other Democrats in the back, regardless of how poor their reasoning is. Such is true in the eyes of Washington, though it’s worth noting that Harold Ford jumped on the bandwagon, and how did things work for him in running for office while bashing and betraying Democrats at every turn? It’s not really about loyalty, per se, but the stupidity. Booker’s comments were full of holes, and his regret seems somewhat genuine in that he appears aware he didn’t have a leg to stand on.

Back to Romney, what a campaign. Don’t talk about him, don’t talk about him as Governor, don’t talk about the people that lost jobs while he raked in millions without producing a single thing of value, don’t talk about his religion, don’t talk about his policies that would explode the deficit and slash most spending that isn’t on the Pentagon, and so on. And of course we can’t talk about Obama much either…not his actual foreign policy record, not the actual measures he took to help the financial crisis, not the things he wanted to do that Republicans wouldn’t allow because they were sabotaging the economy, nope. We’re allowed to talk about one thing: the economy is still in rough shape, blame the guy in office…because Mitt Romney says so.

Well, you ain’t king yet, fucker, so stop telling me what I can say and start explaining why I shouldn’t say it. Because I sure as hell should.


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